♥CHRISEH

2010-09-19T02:22:00.002+08:00

Im back to blogging again! :D
only for another 3 weeks or so.
I just reached chiangrai! :D

2010-05-12T16:38:00.001+08:00

HELLO :D

2010-04-17T10:57:00.001+08:00

http://chrissysmee.xanga.com/weblog

2010-04-17T10:11:00.003+08:00

Alright, its a saturday morning and the moment i woke up. I felt my eyes could only open halfway. It feels like my eye lids are to heavy. It is not due to me being sleepy but the tears i had yesterday.

The first thing on my mind was, did tony text me? did he call me? Unfortunately the result was a huge no no. I wonder why he dint come and find me yesterday. To have a face to face talk on our problems we are facing?

I guess he wanna let go this rs. This rs is probably nothing to him now.

Enough about him, I got my appointment later at LS, after that im meeting one of my good friend, Nidya. Shes really nice to me. :D

2010-04-16T22:48:00.002+08:00

Its been ages since i last blog. Since 16 november if im not wrong.
Tony and me have been dating for 7 months. Unfortunately, we broke up yesterday afternoon because of a huge tiff. He was not someone i first met. He became someone else overnight. Maybe that was his true character which i never see before and i was horiffied by it.

Mum was surprised i stop mentioning about him. Actually, i still love him. I miss him. I really do. I want him back. The only thing i dont understand is that, why is he reacting this way to me. Is it cause he doesnt love me anymore? or he is trying to act strong like me?

I wrote an email to him today regarding a closure of our 7months relationship.
"It was awesome."

2009-11-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

I feel your hands in my hair.
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back
and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.
I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love
.I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and I love it.I feel you.

I hear you.I see you.I taste you.I smell you.I do all these things and I love it.I'm finally with you.You're finally here.I love it.I love you.

2009-11-21T20:36:00.002+08:00

HELLO! yes i haven been updating ever since i started this whole new relationship with Tony Chua. Yes! hes so cute, good looking and whatever.BUT GIRLS, hes ATTACHED so stop looking at him! >:( or ill be nasty.

LIFE IS SIMPLY AMAZING NOW

2009-10-18T21:57:00.001+08:00

sorry guys for not blogging for ages. I BEEN REALLLY BUSY.

currently attached with a guy called TONY :D

2009-10-18T21:29:00.001+08:00

2009-09-03T21:15:00.003+08:00

2009-09-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

I GOT INTO ESPLANADE!

YAYEEE :D

2009-09-02T13:29:00.002+08:00

2009-08-30T11:36:00.002+08:00

Me and Tony in Cartoon.

actually i dont know how to do him cause of his hair. no style and so plain.

OH LOOK TONY SWAM TO THE SHORE AFTER WORK

2009-08-30T11:18:00.000+08:00

so what have i learn.

JELLYFISH IS UNISEX.

they find stones and relase their sperms and egg.

and ta da! jelly fishay babies :D

2009-08-29T22:45:00.000+08:00

OOKAYYY i had my piano lesson yesterrrdaaayyy SO! today, helped my mum with chores (sigh, i wasnt forced but i took the intiative to do it :D) then mummy and me spent time together by doing red ruby dessert, it was a huge success! Swimming and a little tanning. gosh wheres the sun! everytime i wanna swim, it either rains or cloudy. sickening. soooo evening time, we went grocery shopping!

okay family time since i been busy busy for the whole damn week, shouldnt i stay at home?

YES!

2009-08-28T17:45:00.002+08:00

Jael, shes quite pretty with her banks.
HAHAH then she looked at me in one way.
it was pretty scary at first but oh well, shes tall like me :D
of course im taller.
unfortunately, her mum called her and she had to rush off to the hospital.
sigh. there goes our lunch date. HOW SAD.

2009-08-28T12:18:00.001+08:00

Meeting Jael at 1245pm.
not sure about Tony, will see when he gets up :D

2009-08-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

Met Tony at yew tee at 345pm. I was 15mins late! sorry tony,
it was raining and im afraid i might slip and fall.
we headed down to cine and catch year one.
hilarious movie :D after that a little shopping
and we head home by cab.
gosh the taxi driver asked us riddle.
so annoying, my cheek muscles were hurting me.
headache ):

2009-08-27T14:01:00.002+08:00

the thought about jd's text vs actions makes my blood boil.

sometimes i wonder if he knew who i am.

okay im gonna go out with Tony later to catch Year One!

good choice Tony!

actually i think he looks abit like Guo Wei. HAHAHHAA.

hes a girl! :D

2009-08-27T12:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE <33

CHEONG HUI SHAN

2009-08-26T11:34:00.002+08:00

OKAY a new entry would be much better to start what have been going on in my life!

in fact, im feeling even happier being single!

yesterday! was my last day of UT communications

annnnnnnd! i went for an interview at esplande at 5.30pm.

i was so nervous and luckily i have shekina as my supporter.

gees i miss her so much, it have been ages since i last seen her.

SOOOOOOOOOOO

before i went for the interview, forms have to be filled AGAIN. with

my passport photo :D (i hate passport photos)

as i was waiting for my turn next i was talking to this girl beside me.

i forgot to ask her name but i was like. gosh what do they ask in the interview,

which school, all these questions.

so what was i expecting out from them.

1. why esplande?

2. why should we choose you?

3. do you know anything about esplande?

as i entered the department.

there was 2 room.

And guess who i saw! MARY ANNE!!!!!!

the human resource manager i met at the arts fair at marina square!

we started talking like, hey i remember you!!!

yeah me too and blah blah blah!

thank God its her which make everything feels so comfy.

so these are my list of questions they asked me.

"why dint you go to lasalle?"

"have you ever attend a performance in esplande?"

"what does an usher do?"

"if you faced a nasty customer, what should you do?"

thats all. simple as ABC

then dinner at Jack's place.

tired.

2009-08-26T11:25:00.002+08:00

YES PEOPLE IM SINGLE :D

things arent going the way i always wanted.

i told you to change upteens times, it is for your own good.

does coming for dates early needs to be changed over few months

yes people dont change over night but not simple habits

like opening a door for a girl, paying meals, be punctual, that is

basic principles of a person.

you cant do it?

2009-08-23T15:14:00.001+08:00

im single (:

2009-08-20T16:21:00.000+08:00

IM WATCHING

WHERE GOT GHOST LATER :D

2009-08-19T17:11:00.003+08:00

COPTHRONE KINGS

happy 21st birthday Junda

2009-08-18T20:12:00.000+08:00

2009-08-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

i felt being used.
just a accompany for a movie.
once im not avaliable,
you dont wanna meet.

fine
dont find me when ur alone Jd.

2009-08-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

jd's plan!
meet me then go for a drink with his new buddies.
but i was being super duper selfish. either them or me.
he chose me of course! good boy
when i told him i couldnt watch movie.
he dont wanna come
lovers cant see eachother for a week.
just a glipse of you would be enough.
you rejected.
you dont want.
fuck off seriously.
i waited for you
for the day, you get to book out.
since ur so fucking lazy to meet me
then fuck it.
neither do i wanna see you.
FUCKING PISSED

2009-08-15T18:59:00.001+08:00

IM PISSED OFF

2009-08-15T18:51:00.001+08:00

2009-08-14T19:14:00.001+08:00

LIQUOR AND MORE OF IT!

2009-08-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

2009-08-11T13:24:00.002+08:00

Shedding synthetic ski

Seduction slithers slowly through

soundless, swooning souls.

Sweet sensations sacrifice

Smaller joys sliver by sliver

Sending shivers down graceless silver limbs

2009-08-11T13:20:00.003+08:00

2009-08-08T15:55:00.002+08:00

today TENNIS in the morning, piano right after that.

now im waiting for my lovely baby to call me.

man its going 4pm and im burning at home with boredom and heat

fucking hot! im packing my stuff halfway and im going for a stayover at copthrone kings!

i made a huge mistake! should have went scarlet instead. sorry baby (:

my birthday coming soon, maybe ill stayover there instead :D

2009-08-06T13:53:00.003+08:00

okay heres a little update on what is HAPPENING TO ME!!

lets start from

TODAY

i have no mood to do any shit, cant go tennis, feeling so shagged, meeting mum soon.

MY GOONESS, my ppt was quite good even though the fact that i only did my worksheets (:

BUT NASH DID NOT PUT MY FUCKING HARDWORK INSIDE! DAMN IT MAAAAN!!!

today junda gonna go outfield camp till saturday,i miss him.

Was facebooking when i saw his photo with Rachel.

he seemed so happy with her. I think he should find someone who behaves like him, thinks like him and so on because sometimes i felt we belong to a different world. I never like clubber boys and he is. Theres many others that i dont quite fancy for an ideal boyfriend but when i see him, everything changes, love perhaps.

i dont know, in fact im confused.

YESTERDAY

Grandma and Uncle Cai.

Uncle filed for a divorce for his china wife, cheated him tons of $$.

mgosh SO STUUUPID, he came my place and dirtied my HOUSE!

fucktard. i dont like my dad's side except some aunties and uncles.

OH WEEELLLLLL, what can i do. Its my dadddyyy family.

went funan with amanda and brought my macbook protector

which cost me $88 bucks. i received my allowance not long ago and

i spent 200 bucks since last friday till yesterday! OMGOSSSSHHHHH

im so gonna go bankrupt AGAIN.i need an atm machine.

my friends were like, why dont you ask your boyfriend to buy for you?

you think jd is this sort of person? he haven even give me ANYTHING but paid for my meals.

frankly, hes the first guy i treated movie.

to me, i felt that guys should pay for everything.

well lets just see if i can adapt to this rs. (:

supposed to meet wei hao but din in the end.

called my bestie up, bee! zzzzzzz and talk for afew hours.

i miss her so much! we talked about her bf, shyam, her sch in NP,

faizan and so much more to talk about! i got so carried away till

i could not hear my phone ring as junda called me.

babbbyyyyyyy i mmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss yooooouuuuuuuuuuu

2009-08-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

MY HANDPHONE SCREEN CRACKKKK

DAMN IT!

2009-08-06T09:22:00.001+08:00

Theres so many things i need.
1. organizer
2. watch
3. pretty markers
4. wallet
5. dress!

SOOO MANY THINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

2009-08-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

I want things to go back to how they used to be
When things were simple and feelings were free
Where worries were absent
And love rampant
I want to feel like that again
The soar the surge the power and no pain
I got to know you want me too
Because this time this day forth,
I'm going to be true.

junda made a huge mistake this time.
wtf 2months werent lovers then what are we?
i fucking waste my time.

2009-07-31T21:50:00.002+08:00

you dont even know how to plan?
this gonna make things even more boring and dull.
our ani is tomorrow yet you haven even PLAN ANYTHING
tell me, what have you done for me?
anything that touched my heart? NOTHING
must you chose a fancy place to dine at this point of time?
you said your tired yet you still can go online?
why cant it be anywhere as long theres you and me?
last min candles with take away food.
how sweet it is, isnt it?
now i know, how un important i am to you.

2009-07-29T23:15:00.001+08:00

what am i supposed to do on his 21st?!!!!

2009-07-27T19:33:00.002+08:00

i miss terribly.

his kisses

his touch

everryyytthhhiiinnnngggggggg

today was formal enterprise day.

the worst thing is i left my camera and my memory card at home!

in the memory theres me n junda photos!

if my mum sees, there goes my life.

ill be so fucking DEAD

thank God mum dint know about it.

i love you my baby

2009-07-27T00:07:00.006+08:00

2009-07-25T20:40:00.002+08:00

yesterday instead of MJ tribute we had a little westernized gathering.

ke bao came first and he only brought the cheapest can of beer for himself.

he took photos with his favorite pose. PEACE!

followed by hafizah, amanda and brandon and of course my baby.

some MJ songs were played and amanda did her crazy robot moves.

FINALLY DINNER-SUPPER was served! a wide spread of honey baked and italian flavored chicken, thai tung hoon salad, tunay spreads, rostee, mashed potato, coleslaw.

after dinner, movie time! watched some terrorist show where i got bored. its too slow. i played my nfs :D i won KENJI-my game boyfriend then next angus snogging i think. the guys in the movie are awesomely cuteeeeee :D me and J were talking while the others either fallen asleep or half dead. i saw rotten orange sleeping! me and j were giggling.

after movie, home sweet home.

TODAY

met _ at yew tee at 1125am. how sweet he came down to pick me up this time.

awwww thank you for waiting. (: cab down to ps and buy some breakfast! then head down to

purple tel for some chilling.

best day ever with you (:

LOVES

2009-07-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

bem send me chocolatessss YUMMMY :D

hes the best guy i ever met so far.

theres so many things that happen in my life recently.

audric. his voice is so beautiful

jd is so girly!

having cold. ):

2009-07-11T14:20:00.000+08:00

im missing him.

a chance.

ill willing to give

2009-07-11T11:41:00.004+08:00

my life seemed in a mess now.

i have no idea what the hell am i doing.

im tired of short term rs. where are al the guys who really take rs seriously? so far i seen none.

unlucky perhaps?

why dint you take the INITIATIVE to come down here to say sorry to me.

I TOLD YOU MANY MANY FUCKING TIMES, i dont accept apologies verbally. (sms,calls etc)

FUCKING NO. so what if your my bestie, so what if your my bf. STILL, ACTION PLEASE.

you text me. "can i cab down?" i said no. of course ill said no. but you stil can come.(girls love to say the opposite, dont you know tt)

you know what? i told myself, if i get to see you today (last night) ill forgive you really. At least theres sincerity. oh well. AGAIN ALL U DO IS TALK TALK TALK BUT NEVER DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. go get urself another girl and MAKE SURE I DONT SEE UR NO. APPEARING ON MY PHONE.

2009-07-11T01:54:00.000+08:00

WHY THE FUCK IS HE LIKE THAT

2009-07-10T09:39:00.002+08:00

25 april "i love you still...really baby, can we go bak to where we were"

25 april i love you baby. im serious. if you dont, ill do something"

25 april if only. ive been through days wo you, its different. its bad.

i love you sigh. i cried for you"

25 april "no..course not. i cant believe i spent the morning breaking down cos of you. life have to go on lol.

25 april "im okay now. your the girl i wanna marry ha. keep it at that. talk to you again :)

7 may "baby. can we be officially together?"

7 may "if you dont acknowledge us by tonight, then guess im not good enough for you"

1st june "baby.. ive think through and made up. Your mine officially.. and the 1st of junewill be the day we get together :)"

of course, there are so much more text i saved to reminse all these sweet memories. dont you remembered i ignored you a period of time after you told me you had phonesex even though you said you liked me. you came back to me afterall. how sad, last night you text me saying i like you first and you are unsure about ur feelings. OMGOSH SINCE WHEN. so these text are pratically lies?? if they are, you are good in decieving girls. AWESOME NESS. :D

i have no idea what to say. Now i know how UNimportant i am and how MEAGRE have you loved me. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT 1 TEXT. if not for that, i would have known ur feelings from the start.

in my heart, before you called me last night,
if only....
you called again...
explain...(you said there isnt a need to explain. WTF man)
show me your sincerity..

thats my dream probably. anyway i dont give a shit anymore. take careeeeeeeeeeee (:

2009-07-04T01:33:00.002+08:00

it happen again.

we couldnt meet

i waited for this day.

he said hes unwell.

went to doc and supper w his dad.

what can i say?

i guess if im not going malaysia tmr, i dont feel like meeting him either.

does he love me?

or everything is fake?

2009-07-01T23:46:00.002+08:00

Last sunday, had an arguement with junda.

so annoying. waited so long for this day to come

in the end, hes tired so wont be able to come.

I WAS SO DAMN PISSED.

monday, finally i get to see my baby :D

met at library. I AM SO SO SORRY that you got to wait for me

to finish my work sweetheart. from 11plus till 4pm. sorry baby!

headed down to cwp to watch transformers! :D

AWWWWW. 1 more day left.

tuesday, met fizah at library. then cab down to sengkeng to see my darling again.

went his place. his house is so so so EMPTY!!! compared to mine! wow

totally different. His room is SOOOOO NEAT! neater than mine. ARGH.

i dont know what to say to him. All i want to do is just see him? i did my science worksheet while junda pack his stuff. HAHAH he cant even fold his clothes.

oh i got him a hush puppies polo tee. it kinda cost me cause im already bankrupt.

but it really suits him. Better than his plain tees.

BEST DAY EVER :D

JUNDA IS SO HAWT!!! freaking hot! SERIOUSLY MAAAAAAN.

2009-07-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

SO BORING TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

SORRY GUYS FOR NOT POSTING!

its been ages since i log on here!!!!

so many things happen.

been busy with school, friends outings, dates and most importantly, Junda's RJ!!!

Junda RJ is a stack of cards whereby u wrote how much i miss him and love him of course! each and everyday he is in camp! :D its torturing okay! Because 2 weeks! and phone calls are always lesser than an hour. So many things to say you know! Lets start from yesterday then.

SUPPOSED to have slumber party at Amanda's place but then Geoffrey got SWINE FLU. ARGH.

hes always with kelly then if kelly have i have 50%chance that ill get too! PRAY I DONT HAVE MAN cause fizah said it takes 1 week to see the symptom ! So amanda cancelled.

and down to bishan i met Ronald, i was 45mins late. SORRY RONALY ): caught transformers! it was awesome ness babaaayyyyyy!!! and hilarious. actually, i wasnt really playing attention cause I KNOW I AM SO GONNA WATCH IT AGAIN WITH MY BABY!

i felt so so guilty! BABY IM SO FUCKING FUCKING SORRAYE!!!!!!! i supposed to wait for you but i dint in the end. IM SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY i love you lots lots. really.

it wont happen again! i know this is the 2nd time. forgive me alright my baby???!

SORRY BABY

I AM GONNA SEE YOU TOMORROW LOVE

I CANT WAIT

I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.

2009-06-18T12:06:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why couples miss each other when they are in school camp or something. its is nothing compared to NS you know. school camp, you still can charge ur phone

brb

2009-06-17T14:44:00.002+08:00

YESTERDAY

last night, i sent you a 4 long text.

i dint know you will get so emotional.

im glad your coming out on the 28th!

movie with HAI QAL

to watch DRAG ME TO HELL

TODAY

UT exam

mive w fiza.

HOME

2009-06-16T23:24:00.003+08:00

2009-06-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

2009-06-16T20:51:00.003+08:00

JUNDAJUNDAJUNDAJUNDAJUNDAJUNDAJUNDAJUJUNDA

thrus (1st date)

jd came my place, sat beside the side gate.

it was about 12am then

he came with a black sleeveless and boxer.

i couldnt face him neither was i talkative.

i was shy and i dont know what to say.

good thing, he tried chatting w me.

but still, the awkward ness was still there.

of course, when he took a cab, he blew a kiss :D

saturday(1st official date)

we met about 3plus and headed down to cine to catch terminators.

we shop at taka to wisma.

lunch at pasta mania. (cine)

movie ended at 9.30pm.

cab down to pasir ris coastal chalet to meet amanda's family.

once reached, i started drinking glasses and glasses of wine.

i drank fast cause i wanna get red and hot.

jd was quiet at first luckily brandy n amanda tried entertaining him.

the more he drink, the more he smoke. ( i dont fancy it of course)

then as i send you off to take a cab down to meet your drunk friend.

your lips touches mine.

it was beautiful BUT SHORT

you know im a good kisser

HAHAHAHAHHA

sunday

you drop by my place at 830pm to help me arrange my files.

we spent more time keeping quiet.

you showing off your ipod.

a longer french but too many pauses.

passionate and smoothing

the way you touch me.

its unexplainable.

MONDAY

meet him at cwp straight after school.

he kept saying im overdressed.

down to yishun. it was renovating.

cab down to ps.

shop and dinner at some tomato restaurant.

cab home.

and now you are going army my dear.

today at 2pm. How sad i couldnt meet you today.

i couldnt really concentrate today. my mind was all about you.

from my besties talking about bra straps it linked to you

everything!!! i will be like,

"eh junda also......"

i dint realize how much i miss you.

and yes i love you even more now. (with guarantee!)

the email you sent to me.

it saddens me further.

at times i doubt your love.

i dont know.

what matters is now isnt it?

i love you junda :D

2009-06-16T20:39:00.004+08:00

2009-06-15T22:47:00.003+08:00

OKAYYYYYY. i seen jd 3 days straight in the row.

i never expect how wonderful he is within these 3 days.

hes not like my other bfs.

we dont hold hands when we go out. WEIRD (i know)

the way he treats me. its just different.

sadly, hes enlisted tmr at 2pm.

im so sad ): really i am.

btw, i think jd become really really lame. SO IRRITATING!

of course, j, he kept texting me.

hes so irritating. today i kept my phone beside me to await for jd text n calls

BUT instead of jd, its j or someone else. esp, J.

im fucking irritated.

blog tmr. tired

2009-06-14T19:25:00.002+08:00

ALRIGHT. yesterday
SUPPOSED to meet jd at 2pm drag to 230 drag till 315-330pm
our official 1st date! wad a screwer.
hes late cause mum asked him to do stuff so ur excused.
watched terminator.
and down to AMANDA's chalet!
OOKKKKAYY its really really awkward! cause its all AMANDA's family!
well, her mum's side! when me and jd reached pasir ris chalet.
i saw brandy but amanda was missing!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
thank God, i seen brandy's talkative side which is really GOOOOOOOOD!
the last time i had so much wine was last christmas!
i never got drunk before neither do i want that to happen!
PICTURESSS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
will upload soon (:

TODAY!
church in the morning
down to golden mile (send $$$ to brother)
swiss hotel
bt timah

2009-06-12T13:31:00.003+08:00

piano at 2-3pm.

supposed to go out with ronald but

i dont think i should.

cause ill be out the whole day tomorrow :D

PLAN for tomorrow.

meet jd. (argh him again)

amanda's chalet

sleepover at Cat's place :D

2009-06-12T02:34:00.000+08:00

Baby, if you only knew.
How I long to kiss your lips. savour the taste and stay forever more within the saftey of your warmth.

How I wish I could express the complexity of my emotions.

i love you baby

p.s prioritize ur time for me

or u'll be fucking dead

2009-06-11T22:44:00.001+08:00

went to school to change my password.

being served by eric.

hang out school till 5pm?

headed down to cwp for dinner.

came across fb where i saw jd pic with this girl

omgooossshhhhhhhh FUCK

2009-06-11T12:57:00.009+08:00

HERE ARE SOME UNGLAM PICS OF MASELF

its mummy birthday today.

so me and HQ went to do some self icing cakes!

its the best time of this week :D

you guys should try.

of course, you need a GOOD accompany!

2009-06-11T01:31:00.001+08:00

2009-06-10T16:56:00.001+08:00

date w Amanda-AMK hub

piano lesson cancelled

out w haiqal soon (:

junda got no time for meeeee ):

2009-06-09T15:46:00.002+08:00

ERIC MUN my dream guy! gosh hes so good looking and everything.

Everything i always wanted :D

I have a friend who looks exactly like him.

but hes in aussie ):

i miss you bem

2009-06-08T17:47:00.005+08:00

I am imbecile and fatuous of what happen yesterday

i dont know what was wrong with me

is it out of desperation?

or is it a new crush

can we work things out?

of course the person who is always on my mind isnt him but.. YOU

his voice kept playing repetitive on my mind.

a desire for him i must say.

why such number brings accurate coincidence?

it just reminds me of you.

was i wrong?

I don't know you

But I want you

All the more for that

Words fall through me

And always fool me

And I can't react

And games that never amount

To more than they're meant

Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can't go back

Moods that take me and erase me

And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice

You've made it now

Falling slowly sing your melody

I'll sing along

2009-06-08T00:31:00.006+08:00

BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY

church 9am 1st service

lunch w dad&mum

headed down to cine to meet Joel

catch the movie BLOOD:the last vampire

okay i got something to say about the movie!

it was so so cause its LAME and the blood effects is so rubbish!

but but but the company i got was.. gooood (: in fact awesome!

i went around town to look for my specific scandals!

cant find anything. I dint realize it was 4.15pm when i saw the no. of missed calls and sms on my phone. ARGH! im late! BBQ starts at 6pm and im still at town! i started panicking and joel was like, cool down. After that, we headed somewhere (:

then cab home! Amanda, Brandon & Geoffery were at my place already!

bbq was damn fun.

2009-06-07T02:09:00.009+08:00

2009-06-06T23:55:00.005+08:00

2009-06-06T23:26:00.001+08:00

2009-06-06T22:56:00.002+08:00

I AM SUCHA FUCKING FOOL

i am 167 damn it.

just because of height you came up with

"oh we are not suitable for eachother"

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

cant you tell i love you so damn much?

the calls are all out of concern

being able to hear your voice just bring happiness to my life

life will never be complete without you.

i dont care if you club anymore.

i dont mind

if you wanna spend your whole life watching MAN U

i want you damn it.

but when you said those words.

it broke my heart.

we are not suitable cause of one fucking joke.

from now on, i wont ring you anymore from a landline

from now on, i wont text you

from now on, you will no longer be on my contacts

from now on, you will no longer stay in my heart

from now on, you will be free

give me some time, i promise to forget you.

and lastly,

i love you Junda

2009-06-06T20:36:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU

2009-06-06T20:15:00.002+08:00

HEYHEY

went movie with jun wei

watch terminator

groceries shopping w Fyna

AWESOME NESSSSSSS!

IM SOOO IN LOVE WITH HIM (:

2009-06-06T13:28:00.003+08:00

my oh my.

i realize how deep i fallen for you

even though how upset i am

i still love you

i dont understand

why dint you try to make the effort to make things work out for us

why..

got to go.

to be continued

2009-06-06T11:49:00.002+08:00

gosh my eyes become smaller in the pics. GROSS

i hate single eye lids.

2009-06-06T11:31:00.003+08:00

okay let me tell you about yesterday (:

Met Isya at Je at 2pm

headed down to Raffles Place to meet Kong and APSS ppl for a meeting

shopping. (i still cant find my scandals!!)

then down to boat quay.

okay, actually we wanted to go club

but the thing is ONLY 18 and above! so maybe ill just wait till im 18 :D

and club when there is events. (easier to get in when you're in the guest list)

Isya wanted to go to eski bar. BUT I WENT THERE ONLY THAT DAY!!

SO I DRAG HER TO GO CLARKE QUAY (again)

i think Clarke quay gonna be my favorite spot of the year :D

we walked around to see which bar we could go in without them checking our ICs.

so i decided to take a risk of going into FASHION BAR.

wooohooooooooo! they didnt check at all! As we sat, they dint even give us a menu but asked us, what drink? LUCKILY, we are not freshies to pub, we KNOW what we wanna drink. it will be so embarrassing if we were to ask what drink they have and what it consist. we had vodka w cranberry (my favorite!) Isya said its better than her all time favorite vodka w red bull. OHWELL. flirty bartender mingle with us. not gonna go into detail. (: Then he asked for our number and names to be added into the guest list next time if there is any events in FASHION BAR! woohoo! fucking lucky. ohya, the next trip we go F.BAR FREEEE DRINKS!!! of course approach that bartender or manager. AWESOME NESS! since mum's back i got CURFEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. fuck ):

BEST DAY OF THE YEAR (:

for night life of course

2009-06-06T03:34:00.001+08:00

i just cant sleep

im excited about tomorrow

yet my mind is engulf with junda.

first its MAN U

now its online movies

cant u spend your fucking time with me?!

i wanna meet you

i wanna see you NOW

i asked you out today, and you wanna head down to zouk

you said yourself, you would rather meet me than your friends

your such a fucking liar

2009-06-06T00:21:00.008+08:00

LASTLY

2009-06-05T10:51:00.000+08:00

I AM SUPER PISSED OFF

2009-06-04T23:48:00.008+08:00

The love inside my heart grows each day,

It flourishes and blossoms,

Nothing could ever change this,

you are my one true match.

At night I dream of you,

I dream of us together,

Holding eachother close,

Kissing you all over.

I count the days till we are together,

My heart smiles with each passing day,

I know each day I'm closer to you,

My excitement is barely contained.

I know the second I see you,

I will run to you and pounce you,

Attack you with endless kisses,

Never leaving your embrace.

Oh baby, I am so in love with you,

I smile each time I think of you,

I worry if we do not speak each day,

I am so happy we found eachother.

I am so in love with you.

i wanna see you now.

but i got held back whenever i remembered you go for looks.

that way, we can never match each other

but still, i wanna meet you

RIGHT NOW,

RIGHT AT THIS SECOND

i give you till... 12.30am.

lets see (:

2009-06-04T15:55:00.002+08:00

youve confused me more than i ever knew,
i didnt know how deep id fallen for you.
ive fallen back with him,
but now my love seems so dim.
how could you do this to me?
i love you and now i see,
that i will never be free,
from your hold on me.
it kills me inside,
when my feelings i hide.
now you just call,
and again i fall.

cant you see,
i want you,
i crave you,
i need you,
i love you,
so take me.

youre stuck in my mind,
yet again i look, i find,
i just cant let go,
now that i know.
that you feel 'something' for me,
that you can also see,
that i cannot be free,
and it confuses me.
i thought it would be fine,
that id never write another line,
of feelings like this,
for someone i cant even kiss.

2009-06-04T15:37:00.004+08:00

YES it is normal to have crushes. but NOT when your attached with someone

being attached, doesnt it mean you only like/love one person? and you said its OKAY?

you even wanna joke around about relationships

yes there is something you can joke about but not on rs.

its sensitive

I AM SENSITIVE

yes you may not be the jealousy type of person but i am.

cant you tell?

2009-06-04T00:45:00.001+08:00

2009-06-03T19:01:00.002+08:00

2009-06-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

2009-06-03T18:40:00.001+08:00

I cant remember when was this taken.

part of STA clique (:

chris, isya,ani and angela

2009-06-03T18:30:00.001+08:00

HAFIZAH

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE ALRIGHT

I was so worried about you yesterday.

LOVE YOU!

2009-06-03T17:54:00.002+08:00

MUMMY's BACK! (:

yayee! sorry i was late. Mum landed at 3.30pm i reached at 4plus plus plus pm!. FYNA kept calling me like crazy. GOSH. but i like it. no wait, i prefer it to be JUN DA. but he is soooo busy with his food and newspaper! soo annoying! hes so cute at times when he kept asking me when im free. CUTE BOY (:

Brought mummy flowers (ROSES) for her welcome back gift. Daddy told her he got his paycheck and sooo much $$ till he dont know how to spent it! so hes waiting for mum to decide what to do with the $$. gosh!

i wonder when will be our 1st official date?

will we last?

can i wait for you?

will you accept me?

can he be trusted?

will he be like benjamin?

benjamin..

i was watching the korean drama where 2 person kept bickering all the time. it applies to fiza. and me and Benji last time. I miss my past. i wanna have him back. I wish i could find his number and call him up from a landline. i want him. really. or someone like him.

i still remember he used to call me everyday in thailand last year, i remember our squabbles in every min we had. our first movie, "shes not that into you". EVERYTHING it still stayed on my mind. Benjamin is my perfect edward i admit. can i ever find him in jd?

Jd isnt those sort who argues with you. he laughs it off with you. Even when ur mad, he still laughs! HMMM, AND! let me compare!

BENJI

jealousy

faithful

football fan

football manager fan

NTU

loves to argue

drives

UN jealous (no such word)

faithful? (im not sure)

MAN U #1 FAN

not football manager fan

TP grad

gives in

dont drive.

2009-06-03T14:13:00.009+08:00

2009-06-03T13:25:00.006+08:00

OMGOSH SLEEPOVER SUCK ASS :D

DAY ONE

Met amanda at woodlands and headed down to UOB to bank in cheque for my school fees!

then later on, fiza met us at cold storage to grab some ingredients for baking and dinner!!

Fyna met us later cause she prioritize guys than us! alright.

Once home, tune into 90.5fm. Fiza said it was toooo old fashion so she kinda played with the radio. and laughed to herself. forgive her, shes my bestie OKAY!

our menu for the day!

blueberry muffins

chocolate muffins

chocolate chip cookie!

Fyna joined us shortly and headed down to bake some cookies! after that, MOVIE MARATHOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!! there are pile and piles of movie! we watch a french movie, i forgot the title. after that, was MEAN GIRLS. dead silence and lastly, LOVE GURUUUU! ohya! korean drama! what boys like flowers or something.

Went down to the pool side for some drink! BREEZERRRRR! amanda had a bottle, and she went lying on the floor. Its super funny! shes like drunk. HAHAH. I LOVE HER LOTSA!

Amanda couldnt stay over cause of her uncle. i wont go into details but yeah. but before she go, DINNER TIME BABY! we gossip and gossip till we got tired. aroun 4 am, we just doze off.

DAY 2

we watch dead silence again. SCREAM and laugh. :D

it was awesomely fun with these girls really. FIZA had tennis so me and fyna headed down for a swim! Movie PARENT TRAP. then met Guo Wei.

look, why cant you just fucking mean whatever you say? you are not being cold to me? yeah right. maybe you should go back to sandy or accept whoever girl whose after you now. your attitude is like ARGH. i tried to understand you, you claimed your tired and you still can run? all i ask is meet me once a week, cant you do it? and we are behaving like strangers damn it.

hey baby, I LOVE YOU

next time, please pick up my damn phone.

2009-06-01T12:21:00.000+08:00

YAY I GOT HIM!

MISSION ACCOMPLISH!

2009-05-31T23:31:00.003+08:00

REST DAY FOR MEEEEEEE

i want you really

i seriously do.

if you were to ask me again.

ill give you a positive ans i promise.

i like you

no, i love you

yeah thats what i always wanted to tell you.

i really do.

gw, i still think ur not serious in some way.

ALEX intro tt dude to me. hes fucking HAWT!

NOW OR NEVER

cant we work sth out before we date,

before you go NS?

2009-05-31T09:33:00.003+08:00

ESKI BAR (:

last night

with sam,alex,ani,khair,fyna,chong bing darren and one more dude

AWESOME MAAAAAAAAAN (:

jw, i dont know about us.

it seemed complicated

but whatever i said to you, i mean it alright.

2009-05-30T15:15:00.002+08:00

ATTACHMENT to substation

3 days thrus-sat

the play was based on wonderland

family of 5 arguing over a cracked window.

they claim that the house have a heart.

and its broken.

frankly, i dont fancy this girl whose an usher.

her attitude+boring-ness+braces disguise me.

FRIDAY NIGHT! fyna came to find me (:

Gfs and I headed down to clarke quay.

arena and chill at the pub next.

freaking tired when i got home.

showered and tried to do my RJ.

but fell asleep while trying to think.

argh. tired.

2009-05-28T23:34:00.003+08:00

FUCKING TIRED

i feel sick

after i reached home

i puke.

my tight schedule made me empty inside.

why.

just tell me why?

2009-05-26T23:08:00.001+08:00

busy.

wed-movie

thrus to sat. ARts production attachment.

im tired of tennis though.

i miss you (:

2009-05-26T00:22:00.005+08:00

my group was great today.

maggi mee for lunch

pizzahut for dinner

video blog with fyna

skype with cousin.

2009-05-25T00:35:00.002+08:00

i always tell myself that we are going to be attached OFFICIALLY.

whenever i got upset with you

i kept saying stuff which i dont mean

in the end, ill still come back to you.

I THOUGHT you still love me.

now i realized, it was a wishful thinking of my part.

I remembered back then, when you told me you had "phone___" w other girls

we stopped contacting.

why the fuck must you text me/call me and confess everything again.

why do i fucking have to believe you again.

like i said, i THOUGHT you love me.

but now i know,

when you said, "why cant we be friends"

i got a reason for myself

to stop loving you.

i will.

i mean it.

this minute, your officially gone from my heart.